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4th in line

I was told that I would be having my line inserted today. I couldn't believe it. Apparently Dr7 was doing an extra theatre list as quite a few people needed lines and I was on the list. 

I didn't quite believe it but a little while later one of the nutrition nurses came to see me bearing gifts...


This box contains a brand new, shiny, infection free Hickman line. So if they've given me the line then I must be going down. 

I still didn't want to get my hopes up because I had heard from one of the nurses that there were 4 patients needing lines but only time for 3 to get done. All the ladies in the bay were certain that I would be one of the 3 given that I had the line at the bottom of the bed and the fact that Dr7 knew it was Big Fellas birthday this weekend. He knew I was desperate to get home as I had spent the last 2 of his birthdays in hospital. 

Just before 7pm I called my parents to take my mind off the fact that time was ticking on and there was no sign of me being called down. Then the kids facetimed me and it was 8pm before I knew it. 

I walked up to the nurses station and asked the charge nurse if I was going down. He didn't know so asked one of the student nurses to ring the interventional radiology suite to find out. The look on her face told me all I needed to know. 

"They've just finished for the night"

I walked off, back to my bed. 

I felt crushed. 

No explanation. No idea if it will happen tomorrow. Or next week. Or the one after. I've heard one man waited 6 weeks for his line. Whether that's true or just one of the stories doing the (ward) rounds I don't know. 

All I know is that I'm gutted. And this big bar of dairy milk chocolate was supposed to make me feel better. But it hasn't. So now I feel gutted and sick. 

NB x

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