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Hell on earth

You've probably seen this photo on Facebook where the reality of sleeping with a baby is shown against the perception of how lovely it would be. 


That's a bit like my day today. In my head I planned a morning at Ikea where me, hubby and the kids would go and have a nice family breakfast, followed by a leisurely walk around. 

What actually happened was that we stepped into hell on earth. 

It started out with me waking up at 8am and deciding to do the ironing. Why? I have no idea. I hate ironing. The kids woke up at 8.30 and at 9am I asked hubby to get himself and the kids ready so we could leave by 9.30. 

As is typical of this family, by 9.30 nobody was dressed other than me which resulted in 20 mins of me cajoling, nagging and shouting for them to crack on so that we could go. 

When we got to Ikea the queue for breakfast was massive. In the queue I asked the kids what they wanted. Bearing in mind they only had to choose 3 items it shouldn't have been hard but apparently it was. They also decided that cola and jelly were suitable breakfast items but by this stage I couldn't care less. 

Hubby went off to choose a table and when I sat down and pointed out that it was one that rocked- you know the type that need a beer mat under one leg to make it steady- he had a face like a slapped arse. 

Nobody had thought to get cutlery or napkins whilst I was paying- maybe they were planning to eat with their hands. Who knows. 

After 3 trips to the loo (I was just as guilty as the kids for this one!) we started walking round the showroom. Hubby has a way of dragging his feet along that causes just enough noise to drive me slightly insane but he tells me that's my problem. Not his. Just pick your feet up!!

In the marketplace the kids had a fight over who was going to push the trolley in the GLASSWARE section. I shouted loudly for them to let go; the kind of shout that attracts other parents to look at you either in horror because you're shouting at your children in public so you must be some kind of monster or smugly because you're shouting at your children in public and they're not. 

Luckily we avoided knocking over any displays and I decided that I was pushing the trolley. By this point I was completely exhausted from walking what felt like miles and I needed something to hold onto anyway. 

We arrived at the checkouts to find that everybody that had been for breakfast was now queuing to pay for their goods. Half an hour and another toilet trip later I found myself promising ice creams to the kids if they would Just. Stand. Still. 

So now I'm in bed having a lie down with a banging headache and the thought that my hubby will soon be getting his drill out to put up the shelves that we got today. 

Next time I think it would be a good idea to go to Ikea, remind me of this day and make me wait until someone else foolishly decides to go and I will give them my order. 

NB x

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