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Big dilemma. Big, big dilemma.

On the way home from hospital this afternoon I missed a call from a blocked number.

Knowing this can often be the hospital ward or the doctors I listened to the voicemail straight away and nearly had a heart attack. 

The 'fanny assessment' as it's becoming (fondly) known among my friends was due to take place at the end of February.  

To jog your memory this is to check that there is no lasting damage to my vagina after it was accidentally sewn to my bowel in the op in July and also to make sure that if/when I get joined back up there is no way that there can be any leakage of bowel content into the vagina-nice. 

The voicemail was from the admissions clerk at St Marks saying that they'd had a cancellation and Surgeon A wants to know if I can come in for the fanny assessment earlier than planned. 

Great, you might think. Everything's moving on nice and quickly. 

No. 

The date of the cancellation is 19th December. 

So now I have the dilemma of whether or not to accept it. 

If I do accept it then there is the possibility that the next operation could take place early in the new year rather than March time meaning that I can close this horrible chapter in my life sooner than expected. 

But if I do accept it then it means having a general anaesthetic 6 days before Christmas. And the thought of anything going wrong and me being kept in for Christmas, well it just terrifies me. 

I know nothing should go wrong, but this is me we're talking about. If anything is likely to go wrong it will go wrong for me. (I could give loads of examples here but will save those for another post)

But if I turn it down I panic that I could continue to yo-yo in and out of hospital throughout January and February and then be kicking myself for not getting it done. 

I really don't know what to do. What would you do if you were me? Would you voluntarily admit yourself back into hospital days before Christmas after spending weeks battling to ensure that you got out and home for Christmas? 

Answers on a postcard please...

NB x
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