Skip to main content

Big dilemma. Big, big dilemma.

On the way home from hospital this afternoon I missed a call from a blocked number.

Knowing this can often be the hospital ward or the doctors I listened to the voicemail straight away and nearly had a heart attack. 

The 'fanny assessment' as it's becoming (fondly) known among my friends was due to take place at the end of February.  

To jog your memory this is to check that there is no lasting damage to my vagina after it was accidentally sewn to my bowel in the op in July and also to make sure that if/when I get joined back up there is no way that there can be any leakage of bowel content into the vagina-nice. 

The voicemail was from the admissions clerk at St Marks saying that they'd had a cancellation and Surgeon A wants to know if I can come in for the fanny assessment earlier than planned. 

Great, you might think. Everything's moving on nice and quickly. 

No. 

The date of the cancellation is 19th December. 

So now I have the dilemma of whether or not to accept it. 

If I do accept it then there is the possibility that the next operation could take place early in the new year rather than March time meaning that I can close this horrible chapter in my life sooner than expected. 

But if I do accept it then it means having a general anaesthetic 6 days before Christmas. And the thought of anything going wrong and me being kept in for Christmas, well it just terrifies me. 

I know nothing should go wrong, but this is me we're talking about. If anything is likely to go wrong it will go wrong for me. (I could give loads of examples here but will save those for another post)

But if I turn it down I panic that I could continue to yo-yo in and out of hospital throughout January and February and then be kicking myself for not getting it done. 

I really don't know what to do. What would you do if you were me? Would you voluntarily admit yourself back into hospital days before Christmas after spending weeks battling to ensure that you got out and home for Christmas? 

Answers on a postcard please...

NB x
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Caravan wankers

Over the last few years when I was stuck in hospital for long periods of time Hubby and I would talk about what we would do if I ever got ‘better’. During some of those times when I was so, so poorly the idea of just being at home for more than a few weeks at a time seemed like a far fetched dream. But I’m currently living that dream! And obviously I know I will never ‘get better’ but for these purposes ‘getting better’ meant being well enough to be at home, not in pain 24/7 and not in bed all day, every day. Not too much to ask now is it??  So in our talks, once I was at home and was well enough to do the real basic things like watch Big Fella play football, Big Girl play netball, go to Tesco, play with the dog, go to the cinema etc one thing kept cropping up. We would love to have a motor home and tour round the country. We talked about the places we would like to visit, how much Buddy the dog would love it and how it would give us a chance to reconnect with each other.  But after a
Post a Comment
Read more

The light at the end of the tunnel is a train

Last week was a busy and pretty crappy week for me health wise. I had to go and have blood tests done with the nutrition nurses and I had two hospital appointments; one with the gallbladder surgeon in Nottingham and the other with colorectal surgeon at St Marks. I was hoping to have at least one surgery date to write in the diary following these appointments but I came home empty handed on both occasions. Here’s what happened.  I began noticing over the last few weeks that I’ve started feeling really crappy. I’m feel lucky to have been at home for the last 6 months and I have been the most well I have been for years but it felt like things had shifted slightly recently but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. But years of being sick means I know my body and I can tell when something isn’t right. I have been feeling permanently exhausted and having way more bad days than good. I’ve gone back to spending 2, 3 or more consecutive days in bed, unable to do anything but watch tv and sleep.
Post a Comment
Read more

One year anniversary

  Today marks two important milestones: firstly my Hickman line is 1 year old and I have managed to stay out of hospital for a year too! I think this is the first Hickman line I’ve had that has made it to its first birthday, so this is quite a big deal. Most people have their lines in for years and years with no problems but in the past mine have blocked, split or become infected causing me to rack up a grand total of 17 lines in 10 years. But maybe my luck is changing… And the fact I’ve been at home without any inpatient hospital stays for a whole year is a milestone I didn’t think I would see.  2019-2023 was a particularly difficult four years where on average I spent more time in hospital than I did at home. And even when I was at home I was so ill I couldn’t get out of bed. There were some times during that period when I didn’t think I would live to see another Christmas because I was so, so unwell and I couldn’t see how I would ever recover. It was a long, hard slog and there were
Post a Comment
Read more