Christmas

I've had a lovely Christmas.

It's been a little bit different to normal but then again, so has everything this year!

Me and hubby are both from Nottingham so we would normally go 'up North' at some point over Christmas if we aren't there for Christmas Day itself. 

A few weeks ago hubby announced that he didn't want us to go as he wanted us to have some quality time at home, as a little family unit. 

When he made this announcement I nearly fell out of bed as he is so big on family that he would usually insist that we went up to see everyone. 

I think part of the reason is that he wanted to keep me within a 30 mile radius of St Marks incase I was poorly and also the fact that we are both dog tired and didn't fancy going from house to house to house visiting all the relatives. 

So Christmas Day was spent at home, just the 4 of us, having a lovely, relaxing time. 

I went to Midnight Mass with a friend and her sister. Now I'm a catholic but we went to her Church which is CoE. It was beautiful, lit by candlelight and the minister did an amazing sermon. The only problem was that the service started at 11.30 (anyone else surprised that midnight mass doesn't actually start at midnight or am I the only person that didn't know that?) and I was hooked up to my TPN. 

I had to go out connected up which I don't really like doing because of the beautiful rucksack that I have to carry it in!

So there I am, having to go up at communion time with the bright blue rucksack on my back and I'm sure people are looking. Especially as I didn't know what to do and had to keep whispering to ask my friend what I should or shouldn't do at a time when everyone else was being quiet and prayerful. 

Just one of the challenges of fitting TPN into life. I try to ignore the stares I get (or maybe I just think I get them because I feel self conscious of the rucksack) and get on with things, otherwise you would end up in the house every night from 6.30pm, unable to go out. 

On Christmas Day morning I was up early to disconnect from the TPN at 6.30am. In our house the rule is that the kids have to come into our room before going downstairs (where Father Christmas leaves all the presents) and they can't come in until 7am. 

I disconnected and was sat waiting for the kids to wake up. And I waited. And I waited. And I waited. 

At 7.45am Big Fella came in, still bleary eyed and looking very cute and we had to wake Big Girl up at 8am. From then on it was an unwrapping frenzy and it was fab. 

Just being there to see the look on their faces as they unwrapped their gifts was brilliant. They even got special presents from Santa for being such good children while Mummy had been in hospital. 

We did Skype with friends and family and that made it feel like we had actually seen the family. So much better than just talking on the phone as the kids were able to show off their presents and we were even treated to a magic trick from my nephew. 

Christmas food this year presented a bit of a challenge as I have to follow a low residue diet. I love, love, love vegetables and a good roast dinner so having to limit it is quite hard for me. 

One of the things I did was to buy 'posh' veg- tiny chantonnay carrots, tender stem broccoli etc- so that there was less of it to cook and therefore less temptation for me to pile it on my plate. 

I also used the 'posh plates' reserved for Christmas and other special occasions. (Although they are lovely Denby ones with gold on the real reason they don't get used very often is that they aren't dishwasher friendly!) As these plates are a bit smaller than our normal ones it helped me to think that I was having a big dinner as my plate was full. 

Being full of cold I was struggling to breathe through my nose so found it hard to chew so didn't enjoy my dinner as much as I would normally but it was still good, even if I say so myself!

Being a veggie, and the other 3 not big turkey fans I decided that I wasn't putting myself through the trauma of cooking a turkey, especially as my last attempt looked like this:

Luckily I have a super friend who kindly donated 5 slices of hers so that we could still have a traditional Christmas dinner but without me stressing over cooking turkey. Hubby said it was way better than mine- but given how bad I am at cooking turkey, it's not much of a challenge. 

There was no nut roast for me either as I don't think my bowels could take it so I had a quorn fillet in breadcrumbs which was ok. I find that quorn thickens the output so that actually helps a little with my crazyily high output. 

One of our traditions is to have a bottle of real Champagne with Christmas dinner. I decided that I was having a glass as it would probably pass through me so quickly that none of the alcohol would be absorbed anyway. 

Wrong. 

I think that given the fact I am on mega strong antibiotics, the fact that I haven't drank for an age (if you excuse the half a cider I had 2 weeks ago) and the fact that my insides are all messed up would explain why I felt the need to lie down at 5pm, fall asleep by 6pm and not wake up until 6.30am on Boxing Day!

Now before you go thinking that I'm the worst Mum in the world, I would like to point out that between lunch and me flaking out I had played games with hubby and the kids which included a 45 minute Frustration marathon! I also think that deciding to snuggle up and watch the strictly Christmas special in our bed also contributed to the subsequent sleep!

There were a few emotional moments during the last few days. Like when hubby gave me the following plaques...

...and a friend gave me this one...

... when my parents gave me this charm for my pandora bracelet with a little note saying it was to symbolise faith, hope & charity...

...and when we were all pulling crackers at the table before Christmas dinner because I honestly thought I wouldn't have that moment this year.

I did feel very poorly on Christmas Day night with a raised temperature, so much so that we thought the infection had took hold and I would end up back in hospital at some point the following day. 

Luckily when I woke up I felt a lot better and the temperature had gone down so I got up and cracked on with getting the house and buffet ready for the family we had visiting. 

My parents came for the day and hubby's brother and wife stopped in on the way from Nottingham to Brighton. I love having people to cater for and think that a house isn't really a home unless it's filled with people so was looking forward to them coming. 

I did cut back on the things that I have done in previous years so there was nothing homemade and all the buffet food came from the freezer or a packet but it did make it a lot easier for me and no-one seemed to mind. 

Again we spent the day playing traditional games like kerplunk and buckeroo, watching Nativity and the kids had a nerf gun war with their Grandad, Uncle and Dad (while I tried to dodge the bullets and pick them up as they were blasted around the house).

When everyone had left for their onward travels and some order had been restored to the house it was time for me to get hooked up again to the TPN. 

Except that I have run out. 

Bugger. 

I had calculated the bags I had in the fridge and worked out I had exactly enough to last me until my delivery on the 27th. What I hadn't accounted for was one night one of the bags becoming contaminated and therefore having to be thrown away. 

Just to clarify a few points- I don't keep the TPN in my kitchen fridge. Each bag is 2.5 litres, quite large and has to be kept at a very precise temperature so I have a large medical fridge in our loft room. 

All the stuff to the right of the fridge are my extra medical supplies that don't fit in the box under my bed! My house really is like a community hospital!

Luckily I have some emergency bags of saline so tonight I will be using those. Only problem is that they are only a litre each so I will have to get up at midnight and 4am to change over the bags to make sure I get my 2.5 litres of fluid I need. 

So there's a flavour of my Christmas. Even though I have been and continue to be unwell it's pretty normal- it just requires a few tweaks to make it stoma and TPN friendly. 

This year though I thank God for the fact that Dr 7 got me into St Marks, got a new line into me, got me home and let me have the antibiotics at home rather than in hospital. I believe that without him doing all that I would still be stuck in Princess Alexandra hospital, still very poorly with line problems. I don't know whether he realises that he gave me my Christmas back but I am very, very grateful to him. 

NB x