Skip to main content

Goodbye 2013


It's New Years Eve and finally time to say... 


This year has quite possibly been the hardest year of my whole entire life. 

I have spent in total over 20 weeks in hospital away from loved ones but especially my kids. 

I have been dreadfully poorly, collapsed at work, been blue lighted to hospital, had surgery, infections, a million blood tests and cannulations, ended up with needing to be hydrated each night through TPN and had multiple lines put in to do this. I've had a new stoma that goes crazy bonkers most of the time, had leaks, been reduced to wearing Tena pads but you know what?

I'm still here. 

And unlike other years when I've been ill, I'm smiling. 

I'm not bitter, thinking "why me?" because actually, "why not me?". I'm not allowing the past to have a hold over me anymore. I will take control and deal with everything and anything life throws at me. It may knock me down, but it will only be temporarily and I will get up fighting. 

That's not to say there hasn't been tears along the way and I'm sure next year won't be easy either with more surgery on the horizon but I feel that 2014 is going to be a good one. 


I am already planning holidays with family and looking forward to things; something that I've not really felt able to do for years. 

I feel like there's a reason I'm going through all of this. I don't know what it is yet but I believe that one day it will become clear. 

So if like me, you're looking back on 2013 and there have been some bad times, here's a thought for you...


RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

Don't bring the negativity or hurt with you. Leave it tonight with the chiming of Big Ben and be grateful that we have a fresh start, another chance to experience life and all that it brings. Life is never going to be easy but then it's never going to be boring either. 

So goodbye 2013. You've been an interesting ride but here's to 2014! 

See you on the other side!

NB x
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Home today?

The antibiotics have finished now and last night my Hickman line was used for the first time. So far it seems to be working fine and if the doctors are happy with it when they do the rounds later this morning I will be able to go home. Today! Yay! Of course I'm excited to perhaps be going home but I'm also relieved as my poor veins have just about had it. I never really have any decent veins in my hands and arms and the few that can be used have been well and truely pricked to death. It's got so bad that I'm now having cannulas put in my feet. And yes, it did hurt.  Hopefully later I will be packing my bag and going home to Hubby and the kids.Unfortunately everyone is at work today so if, no, when I get discharged later I will have to make my own way home. Nottingham has a really good transport system, including a tram stop at the hospital but I don't think I'm up to using public transport today. I'm going to splash out on a cab that will take me door to doo...
Post a Comment
Read more

Holiday from hell

My first week in Cornwall was amazing. Me, Hubby and the kids spent the week near Porthleven along with all Hubby’s family in a big house with its own pool and hot tub. The kids had a great time with their cousins, we celebrated Big Girl’s birthday, went to the beach, ate together, played games in the evening and just generally had a wonderful time. It was the holiday I had dared to dream about while I was in hospital amd I couldn’t believe I was well enough to enjoy it. No, I wasn’t able to eat and drink but that was a small price to pay to be making memories with my loved ones. At the end of the week we packed up the car and drove to St Ives where we had booked a fisherman’s cottage one minute from the beach with my parents. My sister and her husband would be staying nearby and Big Girl’s boyfriend and his family were also staying in St Ives at the same time. I’m good friends with his Mum so I was really looking forward to having a great second week with even more of my favourite peo...
Post a Comment
Read more

The spoon theory

Have you heard of 'The Spoon Theory'? No? Neither had I before I got ill. Why would I have? I didn't spend my time trawling through the internet in search of lotions and potions and pills that might just make me feel a little bit better,  because I was well. I was out living life and having fun.  Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that I don't have fun any more. I just have less of it, with fewer people and without the aid of alcohol!  The spoon theory was written by Christine Miserandino and she asks that when you reference the theory you add a link to her website, so here it is:  http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/ I  saw this tonight on Facebook and thought was a brilliant visual to help you understand the 'theory' (and my life) a bit better.  That really is what it's like having a chronic illness. But the trouble is you never know how many spoons you have when you wake up. My  body likes to play trick...
Post a Comment
Read more