Laughing gas

This morning I was woken up at 6am to have my observations done and for them to give me my antibiotics. I couldn't get back to sleep so decided to get up and read a magazine. I put a wash on in the laundry room as I the only clean pjs I have left are the fleecy ones and where it's sunny it makes the ward even hotter than usual.

It was the Monday morning ward round and the team pulled round the sound proof curtains and stood round the bed. I told Dr 7 the same as last week- that the pain in my rectum is getting worse, that it hurts when I walk, it hurts when I go to toilet and that I'm having episodes where the pain is excruciating. 

I'm still waiting to have the MRI and Barium follow through. Apparently the barium follow through would interfere with the MRI so I have to have the MRI first. But because the surgical team have requested this it is up to them to chase it up. And until they do Dr 7 can't arrange the barium follow through. It's so frustrating but it's all hospital burocracy and politics. 

I've finished my IV antibiotics so hopefully the line infection will be well and truly gone this time. They've started me on a new vitamin tablet today. It's massive. In the picture below it's next to a codeine tablet so you can get an idea of the perspective. 

After the ward round me, the lady opposite and a lady from D bay decided to go for a little walk. We went out of the St Marks entrance, turned left and walked around the perimeter of the hospital. We stopped for a sit down half way round and wondered why people walking past we looking and trying not to laugh. We realised the bench was right outside the Mental health unit and the three of us in our pjs, flip flops, slippers and dressing gowns must have looked as though we were three loonies that had just escaped!

We then carried on walking round to the main entrance of Northwick park, past the fruit & veg stall where we stopped to smell the flavours in the air since non of us can eat any of it and we would love to scoff strawberries and apples and blueberries. We had a look at the stall in Costa- it was the scarf and watch man today and this caught my eye. 

I knew my friend Kitty would love it as she's mad on cats so I picked it up for her. 

We got back up to the ward just in time for lunch. The lady opposite convinced me to try rice and gravy so I did. 

And it was bloody lovely. It did make me fancy rice and curry sauce from the Chinese but I think it's going to be a while before my tummy can handle that. 

Not long after lunch the pain in my rectum started. And it got bad very quickly. I was in bed writhing and moaning and the nurses brought me all the pain medication I was written up for. The pain was no better and I was screaming in pain. At one point I pressed my buzzer and no-one came so I got up to look for a nurse and passed out. Luckily another patient from E bay, who had come to see me for a chat, caught me and then the nurses came running and put me back in bed. 

I was screaming and shouting in pain, begging for pain relief, when Dr 18 came in. He took my hand and stroked my back telling me he would sort something out to help with the pain. Ten minutes later Ward Manager came to my bed with a canister of entinox (also known as laughing gas and gas and air). 

Once I started breathing this in the pain began to subside until I felt as if I was floating. According to the lady opposite I then began to entertain the ward but I have no recollection of what I'm about to tell you. 

She said that I repeatedly shouted 'Good shot Captain Birdseye' and kept asking Ward Manager 'if this was a country', 'am I in a country?' Because the pain feels like labour pain, but in my bottom, I asked Dr 18 if I was 'having a poo baby'! I hope not, replied Ward Manager, I'm not trained in midwifery!!!

The pain must have gotten bad again as I started shouting for my Hubby and asking him to hold my hand. The lady opposite said she sat with me and held my hand and I relaxed and said 'I love you' over and over again obviously thinking that it was Hubby sitting by my side. 

She also said that every so often I would jump up and they were worried that I would fall out of bed so they put the cot sides up like they do with the old ladies! Eventually the gas and air must have done its work and/or the pain subsided and I fell asleep. 

It must have been a deep sleep as the pain nurse came to visit me, as did a friend and I knew nothing about it. My friend would normally wake me up and call me lazy cow for sleeping during the day (that's just our banter) but the lady opposite filled her in with what had happened, including the captain Birdseye  bit which no doubt she will take great delight in ribbing me about, so she left me to sleep. 

I woke up just after 5pm when they came to do my observations again but was still very groggy. I don't know if it was the gas and air or the vertigo kicking in but the room was spinning and I had to hold onto something at all times to stop me from falling over. 

I text my friend to apologise for her wasted visit. 'You can pay for the bloody car park' was her reply but I would expect nothing less and I smiled. She has her own unique way of picking me up and not letting me dwell on the bad stuff and that can be quite refreshing. 'I had a story to tell you about the car park too' she tells me. 'That will have to wait until next week now'. Gives me something to look forward to I suppose!

After dinner I rang home to speak to the kids and Hubby. Big Fella was excited to tell me that he had eaten pork patties at school for lunch, which is progress as only a few months ago he would only eat plain pasta, chicken dippers or fish fingers. 

Big Girl had been to collect her new glasses this evening and was sitting doing her homework. 'Mummy, I've got to write a poem and we did it so good together last week that I thought you could help me again'. In my head I'm screaming and thinking oh no, not another bloody poem, but I smiled and told her that I would love to help her and that doing poems together is so much fun. 

So this week we write a four verse Cinquain, which in case you are thinking 'what the bloody hell is that?' just like I was before I googled it, is a 5 line poem with the starting and finishing line of each verse being 2 syllables, line 2 being 4 syllables, line 3 being 6 and line 4 being 8. 

So here is mine and Big Girls collaborative attempt...

MY FAVOURITE THING

iPod

Taking photos

I watch the I player

I listen to music in bed

Play games

Photos

I like taking

A family photo

You can make a photo album

Photos

Music

Four beat music

Jessie J is the best

My music is loud and noisy

Dancing

Play games

They are fun games

Jewel factory and Uno

I try to get the highest score

Winner!

So there you go. Another day in my life. Pain and poetry.

NB x