Do you believe in fairies?

I slept quite well. I woke at 2am and 6am which seems to be becoming my regular times but managed to sleep until 8.30am. A group of ladies decided they were fed up with the hospital breakfast so went down to the restaurant for toast and fried eggs (the 2 things you can't get on the ward). I didn't go with them as I'm quite happy with my scrambled egg and I know that it doesn't upset my tummy.

Tuesdays we have a mini ward round with the registrar, Dr 8 (a new doctor to the ward) and Dr 18. Dr 18 has had enough of waiting for the surgical team to order the MRI scan and has ordered it himself this morning.

Dr 8 spent a long time discussing yesterday's attack, trying to pinpoint the exact location of the pain, the type of pain, the duration, intensity and any possible triggers.

During yesterday's attack Dr 18 did a rectal examination (ie he poked his finger up my bum) and said that the anal sphincters were very, very tight.

Dr 8 wonders if my anal sphincter has been damaged, especially as I am occasionally incontinent at night, something which has only started on the last week or so.

The other theory is that there may be a small collection of fluid in that area pressing on a nerve. If there is then it will show up on the MRI scan. Hopefully I might get some answers soon.

The 3 mental musketeers went for their daily constitutional this morning. I've checked with them and they're happy for me to use their names so I don't have to refer to them as the lady opposite or the lady in D bay anymore.

Here we are, sitting on our bench outside the mental ward, taking a selfie, like a bunch of mentals.

On the left is Sue (lady in D bay) and Julie is in the middle (the lady opposite). We have a right laugh as we do our slow walk. Today Sue was telling us about her 40th party where she had a stripper with a massive willy. Julie told us her mum said that willies look like a babies arm- I had never heard anybody say this and I cracked up. Then they started laughing about me laughing and then we were all laughing.

And so the St Marks walking club has been born. Some of the patients in other bays have asked to join us and my friend down on Fredrick Salmon ward is coming too. I think it's good for us to get off the ward, get some fresh air and some exercise; stops us feeling sorry for ourselves. We set off just after 11am and we get back just before lunch at 12. We don't walk really far but we stop off at the mental bench, as it's now known, and then go to the shops to get the papers etc.

The costa stall today was the marks and Spencer's man selling cheap clothes. I picked up this lovely cardi for my bestie as I thought it would accommodate her growing baby bump. (And Hubby if you're reading this horrified by my daily spending I can assure you it was the same price as a Euromillions ticket, which I also bought. But we could be £92 million pounds richer, so worth spending £2!)

Julie had put some bets on the racing at Cheltenham so she spent the afternoon cheering her horses on. I spent it reading my book- until I fell asleep.

Sue's husband came in to visit her tonight. Everyone eagerly awaits his visits as he brings treats, not just for Sue but for her to share. On Monday he brought in some pick and mix from an 'olde sweetshop'. I don't mean just some pick and mix, it was actually over 5lb of sweets! Everyone takes their polystyrene drinks cup up to Sue's bed and gets a cup of sweeties.

Tonight he had been to his village bakers. He brought in cheese straws, scones (with butter and jam with no pips)

hot cross buns and watercress & cheese scones. I had one of those and they were delicious. So fresh that it just melted in the mouth.

I'm finding that I'm able to tolerate more each day. I'm taking it steady though as I don't want to over load my tummy but that pain is either masked by the increased pain relief or it has settled down. The real concern now is the pain in my arse.

I had a text from Hubby tonight- here it is...

I had arranged with a friend for them to pop round and do a bit of ironing to help Hubby as he's had a lot on recently. Here is the message I sent to my friend...

So thank you Ironing Fairy. You know who you are and you know that the magic you've done for us today is very much appreciated.

NB x

Caravan wankers

Over the last few years when I was stuck in hospital for long periods of time Hubby and I would talk about what we would do if I ever got ‘better’. During some of those times when I was so, so poorly the idea of just being at home for more than a few weeks at a time seemed like a far fetched dream. But I’m currently living that dream! And obviously I know I will never ‘get better’ but for these purposes ‘getting better’ meant being well enough to be at home, not in pain 24/7 and not in bed all day, every day. Not too much to ask now is it?? So in our talks, once I was at home and was well enough to do the real basic things like watch Big Fella play football, Big Girl play netball, go to Tesco, play with the dog, go to the cinema etc one thing kept cropping up. We would love to have a motor home and tour round the country. We talked about the places we would like to visit, how much Buddy the dog would love it and how it would give us a chance to reconnect with each other. But...

The light at the end of the tunnel is a train

Last week was a busy and pretty crappy week for me health wise. I had to go and have blood tests done with the nutrition nurses and I had two hospital appointments; one with the gallbladder surgeon in Nottingham and the other with colorectal surgeon at St Marks. I was hoping to have at least one surgery date to write in the diary following these appointments but I came home empty handed on both occasions. Here’s what happened. I began noticing over the last few weeks that I’ve started feeling really crappy. I’m feel lucky to have been at home for the last 6 months and I have been the most well I have been for years but it felt like things had shifted slightly recently but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. But years of being sick means I know my body and I can tell when something isn’t right. I have been feeling permanently exhausted and having way more bad days than good. I’ve gone back to spending 2, 3 or more consecutive days in bed, unable to do anything but watch tv and sl...

Trying to get vaccinated

When I was an inpatient recently I asked about getting the Covid vaccine because I’m classed as Clinically Extremely Vulnerable (ECV). Apparently other patients on the ward had gotten theirs but I was told that it wouldn’t be possible and that I would have to get in touch with my GP. Apparently staff within the hospital had been using the system to book vaccinations for friends and family by saying that they were an inpatient and as a result they were now only vaccinating staff who could show their ID badge. I can understand that people are worried about the people that they love but to think that people abused the system in that way makes my blood boil. So when I was discharged I rang the GP surgery and was told that they had absolutely nothing to do with the vaccination programme and that I would need to get in touch with NHS England. So I called NHS England and spoke to an adviser who told me that according to the system I wasn’t eligible for a vaccination. I explain...

More than just a bag lady

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