Do you believe in fairies?

I slept quite well. I woke at 2am and 6am which seems to be becoming my regular times but managed to sleep until 8.30am. A group of ladies decided they were fed up with the hospital breakfast so went down to the restaurant for toast and fried eggs (the 2 things you can't get on the ward). I didn't go with them as I'm quite happy with my scrambled egg and I know that it doesn't upset my tummy.

Tuesdays we have a mini ward round with the registrar, Dr 8 (a new doctor to the ward) and Dr 18. Dr 18 has had enough of waiting for the surgical team to order the MRI scan and has ordered it himself this morning.

Dr 8 spent a long time discussing yesterday's attack, trying to pinpoint the exact location of the pain, the type of pain, the duration, intensity and any possible triggers.

During yesterday's attack Dr 18 did a rectal examination (ie he poked his finger up my bum) and said that the anal sphincters were very, very tight.

Dr 8 wonders if my anal sphincter has been damaged, especially as I am occasionally incontinent at night, something which has only started on the last week or so.

The other theory is that there may be a small collection of fluid in that area pressing on a nerve. If there is then it will show up on the MRI scan. Hopefully I might get some answers soon.

The 3 mental musketeers went for their daily constitutional this morning. I've checked with them and they're happy for me to use their names so I don't have to refer to them as the lady opposite or the lady in D bay anymore.

Here we are, sitting on our bench outside the mental ward, taking a selfie, like a bunch of mentals.

On the left is Sue (lady in D bay) and Julie is in the middle (the lady opposite). We have a right laugh as we do our slow walk. Today Sue was telling us about her 40th party where she had a stripper with a massive willy. Julie told us her mum said that willies look like a babies arm- I had never heard anybody say this and I cracked up. Then they started laughing about me laughing and then we were all laughing.

And so the St Marks walking club has been born. Some of the patients in other bays have asked to join us and my friend down on Fredrick Salmon ward is coming too. I think it's good for us to get off the ward, get some fresh air and some exercise; stops us feeling sorry for ourselves. We set off just after 11am and we get back just before lunch at 12. We don't walk really far but we stop off at the mental bench, as it's now known, and then go to the shops to get the papers etc.

The costa stall today was the marks and Spencer's man selling cheap clothes. I picked up this lovely cardi for my bestie as I thought it would accommodate her growing baby bump. (And Hubby if you're reading this horrified by my daily spending I can assure you it was the same price as a Euromillions ticket, which I also bought. But we could be £92 million pounds richer, so worth spending £2!)

Julie had put some bets on the racing at Cheltenham so she spent the afternoon cheering her horses on. I spent it reading my book- until I fell asleep.

Sue's husband came in to visit her tonight. Everyone eagerly awaits his visits as he brings treats, not just for Sue but for her to share. On Monday he brought in some pick and mix from an 'olde sweetshop'. I don't mean just some pick and mix, it was actually over 5lb of sweets! Everyone takes their polystyrene drinks cup up to Sue's bed and gets a cup of sweeties.

Tonight he had been to his village bakers. He brought in cheese straws, scones (with butter and jam with no pips)

hot cross buns and watercress & cheese scones. I had one of those and they were delicious. So fresh that it just melted in the mouth.

I'm finding that I'm able to tolerate more each day. I'm taking it steady though as I don't want to over load my tummy but that pain is either masked by the increased pain relief or it has settled down. The real concern now is the pain in my arse.

I had a text from Hubby tonight- here it is...

I had arranged with a friend for them to pop round and do a bit of ironing to help Hubby as he's had a lot on recently. Here is the message I sent to my friend...

So thank you Ironing Fairy. You know who you are and you know that the magic you've done for us today is very much appreciated.

NB x

New car smell

After everything that’s happened over the last 5 weeks not many days have been good days but today was. I will write a blog post about everything that happened but that’s for another day! Today I went to pick up my new motability car and got to breathe in that new car smell. I am now the proud lease holder of this lovely Volvo XC40. To be honest, part of me wasn’t sure whether to write a blog post about getting the new car with everything that’s been going on with the disability benefit reforms. There’s been so much written about motability cars on social media but a lot of it is misinformation and hate and that made me nervous to write this post. But I figured that most people reading it are friends and family and understand my need for the car. But for those that don’t let me explain a bit about how the motability scheme works. I am lucky enough (or unlucky enough depending on how you look at it) to claim PIP- personal independence payment. This benefit is designed t...

The germs have got me 🦠

Being on azathioprine, influximab and prednisone is helping to control this recent Crohns flare up. But unfortunately they work by wiping out my immune system making me more susceptible to all the bugs doing the rounds. I refuse to stay at home and be held hostage by these meds though- for me they are there to give me my life back, not to make me a prisoner in my own house, so the inevitable has happened and I’ve got a cold. ‘It’s only a cold’ you might think, but with no immune system to fight it off this cold has made me pretty poorly. Yesterday I couldn’t get out of bed and felt so, so ill. I was coughing and struggling to breathe so I’m pretty sure I’ve got a chest infection too. But I can’t confirm that because apparently even being immunocompromised with a suspected chest infection is not enough to see a GP these days! I spoke to the receptionist at the GP surgery this morning who told me that all the urgent appointments for today were gone (and this was at 8.25am, aft...

Disability benefits cuts

So in Rachel Reeves spring statement earlier this week it was confirmed that there will be massive changes to the benefits system including the way that PIP is assessed and changes to the health element of Universal credit. As someone who is receipt of both PIP and ESA disability benefits I find this whole situation… 🔲 terrifying 🔲 baffling 🔲 rage inducing 🔲 disgusting 🔲 [all of the above] I honestly cannot believe that a LABOUR government is looking to balance the books of the country by taking money from some of the poorest and most vulnerable in our society. This is the sort of thing I would have expected the Tories to do but when I voted Labour I honestly thought that not only would they look after and protect the neediest but they would actually make things in our society better and fairer. How wrong I was. Looks like I’m going to have to get some ‘Fuck Labour’ merch to go along with my ‘Fuck the Tories’ stuff I already own! Now I do b...

More than just a bag lady

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