My friend Kitty, who you will have read about in my blog, went into St Marks at the start of the week to have her Stoma removed.
We'd been texting leading up to this as this was the operation that I had in January and I was trying to reassure her that she would be ok and that she wouldn't end up like me- with a Hickman line, on TPN and in hospital for weeks on end!
I went to visit her on Thursday and she looked fab. I'm pretty sure she didn't feel it as she was still in a lot of pain and very tired but she looked healthy and ready for the next part of her journey.
I took her in a present of Tena pads (I know, I know, the perfect gift!) and some cat patterned pj bottoms for her Kitty Parade. As you may have guessed, Kitty is ever so slightly obsessed with cats. Her cats, her mums cats, anything with a cat print. She has what has been affectionately nicknamed the Kitty parade which is her wearing various cat themed items of clothing, and when I saw the pj bottoms I knew I had to buy them for her.
It was great to see her as I hadn't seen her since all the problems with Dr7 and it was the first time she had ever seen me not wearing pjs she told me. It will be an amazing day when we can meet up outside of the hospital, both wearing clothes and maybe, just maybe, even have a spot of lunch.
Kitty is so easy to talk to and it's great to have someone that understands because they've been through exactly the same stuff. Don't get me wrong, my Hubby and my friends are great but they will never totally understand as they've not experienced it themselves. Plus we have a shared love for all things crafty and teapig tea bags.
So we sat and chatted about everything and nothing, had a cup of peppermint tea and caught up on what had been happening in our lives over the last couple of weeks.
Kitty started to get very tired so I knew it was time for me to leave and let her get some sleep. I too was worn out from the driving and struggled to stay awake on the journey back. I think that aswell as the long drive to St Marks I had been to the occupational health appointment and was exhausted from the holiday so it was a bit too much for me. Luckily the M25 wasn't too busy as I wandered across the lanes due to being so sleepy. The realisation of nodding off at the wheel did frighten me so I drove the rest of the way home in the slow lane, with the windows down and the radio turned right up.
The last few evenings I have been in bed for 8.30. The trouble is the kids don't want to go to bed at the moment so poor Hubby has faced the bedtime battle alone.
Yesterday the kids had an inset day and I found myself waking up at 10.30am. The kids were downstairs happily watching TV, having had a breakfast of salami and biscuits. Some of you might think they makes me a terrible mother but you know what? I'm doing my best. And it's hard. Being a mum is never easy so try doing it when you're permanently tired, in pain and have been unwell for years. I love my kids and they give me a reason to get out of bed each morning but boy do they make the day seem longer and make even the simplest thing like going to the shops hardwork.
As I mentioned bedtime is a total nightmare at the moment. It can take up to an hour and a half to put them to bed. They don't want to go to bed at what I consider a reasonable time, between 8 and 8.30pm. They want to be up until 9 or 10pm which is way too late for them. They argue and mouth off, try every trick in the book to stay up later (need a drink, need a wee, can't find teddy, need a cuddle, need a kiss, need a story, need another wee...you get the picture) and are a general nightmare.
I'm finding it completely exhausting and I know it's down to them having been out of routine, spending time at so many peoples houses whet each family has different rules, me being away for so long and them not having any discipline enforced so Hubby and I are to blame but it's hard to break the cycle. And that's what they rely on- me getting tired and worn out from their naughty behaviour before they do. Quite often it has worked but I'm trying really hard to reclaim some control over bedtime because if they get to bed properly they won't be so tired and I think their general behaviour will improve.
It's small, tiring steps at the moment and I know I need to persevere. I've even considered going on Supernanny or some other such show to get some help with the process. I used to watch those programmes and look at those families with contempt- "how can you allow your children to behave like that"- but no so think 'you poor sods. I feel your pain'
So if you see an advert for a show needing a dysfunctional family, be sure to point them in my direction.
NB x
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