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Home Sweet Home

I finally made it home and the last few days have been wonderful. I haven't written a post since coming home because I have been enjoying the time with Hubby and the kids and us all being a family again. But this afternoon Hubby has gone out doing man jobs (recycling, buying stuff at Homebase etc) and the kids are just playing and watching TV so I thought that I would have a little rest in bed and update my blog.

Hubby came to get me from hospital on Thursday afternoon about 4.30pm. The traffic was pretty bad on the way home due to the rail strike and the M25 was gridlocked. We got home about 6.30; Big Fella was at Beavers and Big Girl was playing at a friends so the house was so quiet. The first thing I noticed was a feeling of space. I think after being in a hospital cubicle and confined to a ward for 4 weeks the open plan layout of the house felt really spacious, especially as Hubby had done a great job of keeping it tidy.

We had half an hour on our own before he had to go and collect the kids and it was lovely just to cuddle up on the sofa, enjoy the peace and quiet and have some time together. We hadn't told the kids that I was coming home. In the past we've told them only for me to get ill, or my discharge delayed for some reason and then they've been really upset so unless we know something is definitely going to happen we try to be careful about making promises of coming home. I was so excited when Hubby left to collect them. I sat on the sofa listening so I could hear the car pull up outside, then hearing the chatter of them both as they took their coats and shoes off in the porch my tummy had butterflies in it. I had missed them so much and couldn't wait to see the look on their faces.

Big Girl was the first to come into the lounge. When she saw me she just shouted "Mummy!" and ran over to hug me. She hugged me so tight that I thought I might burst my stitches! Big Fella had heard her shout Mummy so he came running in and we had a big cuddle. "Are you just visiting us?" he asked. When I told him no, that I was home for good, he went into the kitchen to fetch some scissors. The tradition of cutting of my hospital wristbands has become quite important to the kids as they know that if they cut them off then I really am home for good and not just out on day release. As I have allergies I always have a red wristband and a normal white one, so they get to cut one off each.

The house felt very cold after the tropical heat of the hospital ward and I immediately cranked the thermostat up, much to Hubby's horror. I was instructed to layer up and was brought a hot water bottle (I do love a hot water bottle, even in summer).

Now I said that Hubby had kept the house tidy and I was so impressed that he had even changed the sheets on the bed as he knows I love fresh sheets when I get home but I was horrified when I went into the bathroom. The loo was so disgusting and the whole place needed a good scrub. Apparently he hadn't noticed (is that a man thing?) so I had to don my rubber gloves and give the toilet a right good clean before I would even contemplate sitting on it. I then realised that a friend had been round the night before to babysit while Hubby attended a work event and she must have seen it. I was mortified and text her to apologise. I suppose though in the grand scheme of things that if the only thing that was wrong was a grubby loo then Hubby had done quite a good job. He had managed to keep himself and the kids alive, fed and clothed, the house was still standing and on the whole clean and tidy and I had fresh sheets on the bed so I didn't moan (OK I did just a tiny bit, but not half as much as I normally would have!)

That night I got both the kids ready for bed, tucked them in and read them bedtime stories. It sounds like such a simple thing but it was one of the things that I had been looking forward to doing when I got home. I think children always look so peaceful and angelic when they're asleep and I stood in each of their bedrooms watching them sleeping feeling so content and happy to be home.

Because I'm still not able to eat properly then I am having TPN (feed) every other night. I needed to 'hook up' so Hubby got the trolley and all the medical supplies down from the loft room, where he had put them when I went into hospital in the hope that I might not need them again. It's a bit of a pain but a small sacrifice to be able to come home and hopefully stay at home while I sort out my diet and naughty bowels.

I climbed into bed exhausted, physically and emotionally, from the evening. I realised I needed to take my bedtime medication and that there would be no nurses bringing it to me. It was now up to me to manage all my meds again and remember to take them all at the right time. The medication was downstairs so I sent Hubby down to collect them- once I had gotten into bed and was warm and snugly there was no way I was getting out again. Plus I figured that I should exploit the 'I've just got home from hospital' card as I knew it wouldn't be long before I was cooking and doing bits round the house.

I think I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow but when I woke at 3am for the loo I just couldn't get back to sleep. This is really unusual for me as I have been used to getting up once or twice a night with my stoma bag and I always fell back to sleep straight away. After an hour and a half of lying in bed, willing myself to nod off, I gave up and went downstairs to watch TV. At 6.30am I heard Hubby's alarm going off (and being snoozed) so I went back up and got back into bed with him. Big Girl was the first one up. She wandered sleepily into our room, rubbing her eyes in that really cute 'I'm just waking up' way and she got into bed to have a cuddle. Big Fella followed soon after and the four of us had 15 minutes all snuggled in bed together and it was perfect.

Then the madness of getting ready for school and work began. Although actually Hubby had it down to a fine art and I felt slightly redundant. I'm really proud of the way he has coped while I've been in hospital. He's juggled his full time job with school runs, housework and visiting me in the hospital. To be honest, if the situation was reversed I'm not sure I would have coped as well as he has, not for such long periods of time anyway.

Friday was mainly spent in bed watching all the episodes of Birds of a Feather and Come Dine With Me that had been Sky+. The kids both had clubs after school and Big Girl was in the school fashion show that evening so was staying at school after her club had finished for the rehearsal. Big Fella was brought home by my bestie and her 2 kids and they stayed for tea. When Hubby came home to find the two of us nattering on the sofa and the kids playing he had a huge grin on his face and said he was pleased to find things were getting back to normal. The house had felt so empty without everyone popping in for coffee and dinners he told me.

That evening I dosed myself up on my strong painkillers and we went to see Big Girl in the fashion show. The idea was that the kids from the school modelled the clothes and then afterwards we had a chance to buy them with a % of the money spent going to the school. Big Girl looked so grown up and confident strutting her stuff on the runway that I had to stop myself from crying. I think I was a tad emotional from being home (and from the drugs) but I sat there feeling so lucky to be well enough to attend and pleased that I hadn't had to miss something else by being ill or in hospital.

As it was late when we left we stopped at the chip shop to get a chippy tea. As I dished up the chips my mouth was watering but I couldn't have any. I am on quite a strict food reintroduction diet, partly to see if I do have an intolerance to any foods but also to give my stomach and bowels a chance to gradually get used to food passing through them again. I was on day one, which was eggs only. I had already had fried eggs and scrambled eggs during the day but had another fried egg so that we were all eating together. We had tea on trays, watching Coach Trip and again I couldn't have been happier.

I've really come to appreciate the small things in life and hope that this remains as time goes on. The last few months and years have taught me and Hubby some real life lessons and we want to make sure that we keep family time and these simple pleasures going when we start to get back into 'normal' family life and when I return to work. I think the kids are happy that I'm home; they keep climbing onto my lap for cuddles or if I'm lying down upstairs, they come to check I'm OK (and also probably to make sure I'm still in the house and not gone back to hospital).

Being back at home has been great so far, even doing homework with them has been relatively painless this weekend. The kids are counting down the days until the half term holidays when my sister-in-law is coming to stay and bringing their cousins and they will be able to spend days playing, baking and just having fun us all being together.

NB x


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