Despite my best efforts to save it my Hickman line had to come out. I was told that leaving it in could kill me so I didn’t really have much of a choice! This being my 12th Hickman line I’ve obviously had 11 removed in the past so I know the drill. Because it’s done in theatre one of the surgical doctors came late this morning to consent me for the procedure and even though it’s done under local anaesthetic an anaesthetist came to go through some questions ‘just in case’.
The porters came and took me down to theatre. Knowing that there can be a delay I took a magazine down with me and it was a good job I did cause the surgeon was running 20 minutes late. After they did all the safety checks where I have to confirm my name and date of birth a million times the surgeon was ready to start. He placed a blue surgical drape over my head and body which along with wearing a mask can make you feel a bit claustrophobic.
In certain areas I could feel the scalpel cutting so more local anaesthetic was injected. The surgeon was trying to make as small an incision as possible but he kept having to extend it and extend it. He told me that the line was very deep within my chest wall, that there was a lot of scar tissue and that the line had become embedded along its whole length. This was particularly unusual because the line had only been put in at the end of April; you might expect some of these issues if the line had been in place for years and years but not 2.5 months!
The surgeon had to cut deeper and deeper to get to the line and keep making the incision bigger and bigger. He was worried about me having a scar but I already have so many scars from previous lines I’m past the point of caring! I needed more and more local anaesthetic because it was incredibly painful but this line did not want to budge. After 45 minutes of trying he had to call another surgeon in to assist him and it took the two of them another 15 minutes before they finally got it out. They gave me more local anaesthetic than is standard protocol and I think they were getting close to calling an anaesthetist to give me a general anaesthetic. The procedure was pretty awful and the surgeons were both really apologetic but it wasn’t their fault at all- me and Hickman lines don’t seem to get on too well! Can’t live with them but definitely can’t live without them.
Usually you have a really small incision needing 1, maybe 2 stitches but I ended up having 10. By this point the local anaesthetic had worn off so I felt every stitch and every time the needle went in. But to be honest having more local anaesthetic injected would have hurt more so I just grit my teeth and let him get on with it. The surgeon said that it was the most difficult line removal he’s had to do and he’s never seen one so deeply embedded after such a short space of time. I’m just so fed up of everything being difficult and complicated with me. Nothing is ever straightforward and it wears you down. When I got back to the ward I had a bit of a cry. I just don’t know how many more times I can go through this. But the thing is I have no choice. My bowel doesn’t absorb fluids so I will always need to get my liquids through a line otherwise I will dehydrate and shrivel up and die. At the moment my bowel is so bad that if I eat anything I’m in agony so I need to be fed through the line and I think I will for quite some time; certainly until I have surgery and maybe afterwards too. And the worst thing about having a line taken out means that another one needs to go in. The last line insertion I had was really traumatic and I’m dreading having to have one put in again.
I’ve been back on the ward for a few hours now and my goodness my chest hurts. I made sure the day doctors increased my pain meds incase I have a bad night. If I needed more pain relief than was prescribed in the night the nurses have to get one of the on-call doctors to come up to the ward and that can sometimes take hours. Hopefully it will settle down but I wanted to know that the pain relief is there should I need it.
The doctor said on this mornings ward round that the Picc line should be able to go in perhaps in a few days, depending on what the infection is doing in my blood. I can’t have another Hickman line until all the bacterial and fungal infections are gone and my blood cultures are completely clear. They took blood cultures again yesterday and they’re hoping they will give them an indication of how long I need to be on antibiotics and antifungal meds. It could be anywhere from another week to a month. Please let it be the former 🤞🏻
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