I’ve been quiet this week cause I’ve been really poorly. On Monday I didn’t feel good so decided I would have a lazy day and I slept for most of it. But then by Monday evening my pain had gone through the roof and I was in agony. I didn’t sleep a wink and by Tuesday’s ward round I was in the bed crying in pain. The doctor increased my pain relief and said we’d “need to ride it out”. But instead of getting better the pain just got worse and worse to the point that I couldn’t get out of bed and make it to the loo which is three steps away without the nurses helping me. And talking of the loo I realised I hadn’t opened my bowels since Sunday. So this was looking like another bowel obstruction. I spent Wednesday in agony and when the consultant saw me on Thursdays ward round he couldn’t believe how unwell I was. He said he would get straight on the phone to the surgeon and tell him he needed to ‘sort me out’ because this could not continue. The surgical doctors came to see me and decided that they wanted another CT scan to see what’s going on which I had done on Friday morning. On Friday afternoon one of the gastro drs came to tell me the CT report was in and it showed that my bowel is much, much worse since my last scan (which was only at the end of April) and that there was a chance I may need emergency surgery over the weekend. This would be a nightmare scenario as I would end up with whoever was on call performing the operation and they may not have the experience or expertise of dealing with a patient like me with such complicated surgical history and I could end up being left in a mess. Hubby was allowed to come in and visit me today and it was lovely for him to lie on the bed with me and just cuddle me; I really needed that cuddle. So I’m hoping to make it through the weekend without needing surgery and then hopefully see Mr E, the surgeon who was originally willing to operate on me next week. I’m obviously nil by mouth so all my meds are IV going through the Picc line. I’m still on the antifungal medication but Friday night they started the TPN again. The heat isn’t helping and I just feel really crap. It seems like it’s one step forward and two steps back.
Over the last few years when I was stuck in hospital for long periods of time Hubby and I would talk about what we would do if I ever got ‘better’. During some of those times when I was so, so poorly the idea of just being at home for more than a few weeks at a time seemed like a far fetched dream. But I’m currently living that dream! And obviously I know I will never ‘get better’ but for these purposes ‘getting better’ meant being well enough to be at home, not in pain 24/7 and not in bed all day, every day. Not too much to ask now is it?? So in our talks, once I was at home and was well enough to do the real basic things like watch Big Fella play football, Big Girl play netball, go to Tesco, play with the dog, go to the cinema etc one thing kept cropping up. We would love to have a motor home and tour round the country. We talked about the places we would like to visit, how much Buddy the dog would love it and how it would give us a chance to reconnect with each other. But...
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