Why do I do it?

Today I cooked my first ever joint of beef for Sunday dinner and even made Yorkshire puddings to go with it. I think that I'm becoming more obsessed with food as more weeks pass by that all I can eat is only custard and rice. I'm watching all the cookery programmes, pouring over my Good Food magazines and spend ages doing the food shop online. The good news is that I have been able to eat a bit of cheese but still not eggs on their own. Strange given the fact that there's eggs I'm custard. It's soul destroying though to spend ages doing a roast dinner and then sit down at the table with a bowl of rice. 

After dinner I fancied something sweet and started doing my cupboard opening routine. This involves me opening all the cupboard doors in the kitchen, staring at what's inside, closing the doors and leaving empty handed. This afternoon I went as far as sniffing the mince pies in the box, hoping that the smell would quell the yearning I had for something sweet. The custard just isn't hitting the spot. 

Now we are sitting watching Strictly Come Dancing in our pjs as a family. All snuggled up under blankets and duvets whilst outside it's dark and cold. And I'm dosed up to the eyeballs in agony because I foolishly gave in to the need to eat something I shouldn't. 

I had got up to do my usual cupboard opening routine but this time I couldn't resist the Nutella. First I stuck my finger in and had a small taste. I closed the cupboard and went to walk away but couldn't. The chocolate taste hit my tastebuds and tasted like amber necter. The door was opened a second time and the lid came off the Nutella again! This time a biscuit fell into it, and another and another. 

I was relishing my naughty treat, despite the evil eyes Hubby was giving me, until the enjoyment gave way to pain.

I knew I shouldn't have eaten it, I knew it would give me pain but still I couldn't resist. Tonight I was totally weak-willed and I know I will be paying for it for hours despite the pleasure only lasting for minutes. I must try to remember this next time I'm tempted. Maybe Hubby should put locks on the cupboards to stop me from going in them!

NB x