Thursday night was the St Marks Gala dinner. My sister and I were honoured to be invited as a result of her fundraising efforts and we decided to take our parents as our 'plus 1's'. I thought it would nice for us to do something all together and a way of thanking them for all their support.
The dinner was being held at the Victoria and Albert Museum in London and was a black tie affair. To be honest, I didn't think I would make it because when I first received the invitation I had not long been out of hospital. The 23rd October seemed so far away and I couldn't imagine being well enough to go. As the weeks went on my energy levels faded faster than my pink hair and most evenings I was asleep before the kids!
The drive in followed the same route that we take to St Marks for some of it and I found my stomach churning. I used to get the same feeling of dread on the way to the QE2 hospital where I had all my surgeries prior to going to St Marks and after the first op in 2009 I couldn't drive past the hospital without having a panic attack. Infact when I used to visit a friend who lived nearby I used to take a 15 minute detour to avoid seeing it, that's how bad I used to be. I think the association with St Marks now is one of being away from my family for long periods of time and of being very unwell and I'm not at the point yet where I can go and not expect to be admitted.
We were fortunate enough to be placed on a table right near the front so we had good views of the evenings speakers and entertainers.
About a month ago I thought I would try my dresses on and found that I couldn't do the zip up on the two evening dresses I have from past events I've attended with Hubby. I took it as a sign that I wouldn't be going. I tried to remain positive and put out a request on Facebook asking friends if they had a dress I could borrow because I couldn't justify spending loads of money on a new dress for an event that I probably wouldn't make it to. I can't tell you the number of weddings, hen do's, parties and night out that I've missed over the last few years, with hundreds of pounds being wasted on outfits, hotel rooms etc.
A friend leant me a beautiful red dress that I was planning on wearing until the rice and custard diet resulted in me losing 9lbs and then the dresses fit again. The zip on the black dress I wore was very stuff though and did require my dad to pull it up whilst my mum held the zip together and hubby pulled the zip straight at the bottom. It was the wrangling normally reserved for jeans when you've put on a few pounds and you're determined that they will fit. After a lot of puffing, panting and pulling the zip did do up thank goodness!
The original plan was to take the train/tube into London but I think that my parents didn't fancy taking the chance that I might pass out on the Circle line and a return taxi was booked. In hindsight this was a wise move because there's no way I would have been able to manage the train journey with the dizziness and the pain and I was glad to sit in the back of the cab with the window down. The journey in took the best part of 2 hours because the traffic was so awful. It never fails to amaze me that I live 15 miles from London but that I could get home to Nottingham in the same time it takes to drive there.
Here's Kelly, Dad, Mum and me all ready to go.
But the route took a happier turn when we drove through Hyde Park and over the Serpentine and we were able to point out to Mum where Kelly had done her swim that had earnt us the invite (she has been working that day so unfortunately couldn't come).
Despite the mega long journey we arrived in time to catch the end of the reception drinks and everyone enjoyed champagne and canapés while I nipped off to the loo. (I has been quite amazed that I had lasted the entire journey without needing to go but I am finding that because I'm not really eating I'm spending that little bit less time on the toilet and the urgency, although still there, is a little bit better.)
I have never been to the Victoria and Albert museum, favouring instead the Science or Natural History Museum over the road as better for the kids. I was blown away by it's grandeur. The entrance area was enormous with an incredibly high ceiling and with the pieces spaciousley displayed. It was an amazing setting and even with 250 people being there it didn't feel cramped.
We were soon called through to dinner which was in a beautiful room adorned with paintings on the walls that were as huge as they were stunning.But nothing could detract from the splendour of the ornate altarpiece of St George at the end of room. It was breath taking. I can't wait to go back and have a proper look around the museum.
The theme for the evening was Hope. And that really came through the speeches but nobody touched me quite like Gareth Betliner. He is a comedian/stand up comic who has the fortune/misfortune (whichever way you look at it) to have been treated by St Marks for over 20 years. Despite his symptoms worsening and being unable to eat he would watch cookery programmes for hours on end (see, it's not just me!!!) and be so fatigued he couldn't get out of bed. He described how his struggles with his Crohn's disease eventually left him feeling suicidal. He talked about lying in the bath, because all good suicides take place in the bath he joked, fully dressed because he didn't want the embarrassment of anyone finding him naked and having a cocktail of whiskey, painkillers and weed. He lay there for 2 hours before he had an epiphany that there was hope out there, plus his Levi 501s had shrunk and now fit him perfectly after lying in the bath he joked!! Although he laughed there was a serious message there which I took to heart. I had been having a bit of a down time and hearing someone elses struggle confirmed to me that I am not alone. That there is hope. And I really needed to hear that. Maybe that was the reason I managed to make it that night. Because I needed to hear from Gareth, and the other people that talked on the video, that it can get better. And maybe if they can't fix me today, or tomorrow or even next year then with the research that St Marks do there might be a cure somewhere in the future.
So while everyone else tucked into an incredible dinner, I didn't mind eating my rice and I didn't feel resentful. I just felt incredibly lucky to be there and be making the baby steps that I am making on my journey to recovery. The food did look pretty damn good though and everyone said how delicious it was.
But nobody else got served their dessert in a teacup. Oh no. That was reserved just for me! That's posh custard right there!!
Here I am with Kelly and Mum
And here we all are
The evenings entertainment was provided by a singer whose Mum had been treated by Dr8 at St Marks and also by Lettice Rowbotham. You may remember her from Britain's Got Talent. I can confirm that yes, she really is completely bonkers and yes, her music was breath taking. She played traditional, classical pieces but did play Danny Boy which she said was her nanny's favourite song. Inbetween playing she did some taking (which confirmed the bonkers-ness) and she said she first heard a violin at the age of 3 and begged her parents to get her one. They gave in and bought her a plastic toy one which she dismissed and sulked until she eventually got a real one and the rest, as they say, is history.
On the last song she walked around the room and she went right around our table. I couldn't get any decent pictures because of the lighting in the room.
And then the evening started to draw to an end. I saw my specialist nurse sitting at the next table so went over to speak to her. It's nice to have a conversation about stuff other than being ill and she certainly scrubbed up well out of her nurses uniform. Dr8 was there and recognised my Dad. He went and spoke with him and asked him whether I had made it or was I too unwell? After Dad pointed me out he came across and spoke with me for a few minutes. Dr8 does an awful lot of charity work for The St Marks hospital Foundation. Just this year he has taken part in a cycling event in The Dolimites in Italy, completed a marathon and a triathlon. He's done iron man challenges in the past and is incredibly fit. I have no idea how he manages to train for these events with all the hours he puts in at the hospital.
Usually at events like this the centre pieces are given to somebody at the table. The lady on my left received them but gave them to my sister because she said that her sister had supported her loads and she knows that they are on the sidelines and can do nothing while they watch their sister so unwell. She was an inspiring woman who had completed the Ultra marathon and raised more than £3000. The day before the race she experienced a blockage in her Stoma but still ran. Her husband cycled the course next to her and instead of drinking water and eating energy bars she swigged the oramorph that he passed her! She said she overheard her nieces talking to their friend about their Aunty's 'Barbie bum'. That's how she had described the op to them, that she was going to have a bottom like Barbie, all closed up with nowhere for the poo to come out of! I thought was really cute, and the sort of thing I would tell the kids or overhear them saying.
Here's Kelly posing with the flower centre pieces after a few glasses of wine...
...and Mother with the lights out of the vase wrapped around her. She put them in her handbag and they lit the thing up!
St Marks stirs the kind of passion and determination from people that you've seen in my sister when she trained for and carried out her swim. The hospital really is a special place. Having just been in my local hospital I could see the differences at first hand; the specialist doctors they have, the nurses that work non-stop, the speed in which tests are carried out and the feeling of genially being cared for as an individual, a real person rather than just a number at St Marks.
During the dinner we were each passed a card asking us to pledge a donation. I wish I had thousands of pounds to give them, but I don't. I gave what I could but I'm determined to raise money for them next year. Kelly, Dad and I have all decided to do a skydive next summer (let's hope I'm well enough!) Yes, you did read that right. My Dad said he's up for it but we couldn't persuade Mum! So look out for that. Lois and I have talked about having a coffee morning and Kelly said she's planning more bake sales at work. If you've got any ideas of what else I can do (or any details of successful fundraising you've done yourself) please do get in touch. I've got to make sure I do enough to get invited back next year 😉
NB x
Barbie bum
Comments
Post a Comment