Last night I went down to theatre to have a central line put in my neck.
Obviously that's not me- my hair is longer and my tits are bigger 😉
Now this one is me- can you spot the difference?
A central line is essentially a big cannula that goes into the jugular vein in the neck and down towards the heart. I'm so difficult to cannulate so when my third cannula tissued yesterday (medical term for stopped working) I asked the doctor if I could have a central line. I know some people will think I'm mad requesting to have a giant needle stuck into my neck but I would rather have one painful procedure done than have repeated cannula attempts done every day or even multiple times a day.
Because it has to be done in theatre by an anesthetist you get called whenever they have a free spot. From past experience this is usually at some ungodly time in the early hours of the morning and you get a nurse coming in to wake you up, flapping about because theatre has called for you and they want you down in 5 minutes and they need to do their checklist and get your notes and get you in a gown and stress, stress, stress!!! But last night was different- they called for me at 9pm! The nurses still flapped but that was because nobody had handed over that I was going down for a central line so they weren't expecting to have to get me ready for theatre!
By 9.30 two porters had wheeled me down to theatre 2 (although I would have preferred number 3 cause it had frozen stickers and Thomas the tank engine on the door. Probably the kids one but you're never too old for a bit of Disney!) and by 10pm after some local anaesthetic injections, a lot of pulling, tugging and a few stitches the central line was in place. I won't lie- it hurt. Despite the local it still hurt. The anesthetist said that because I've had a few central lines in the past there was scar tissue that he had to push through and that made it a lot more unpleasant than normal. But it was done and it means that I won't be pricked again because they can run my feed through it, my antibiotics (and both at the same time too because it's such a big vein) and they can also take blood from it. So it's short term pain for longer term leave-me-the-fuck-alone!
I was back on the ward by 10.10pm, in time to watch most of Celebrity Big Brothers Bit on the Side with Rylan. I know it's complete trash TV but it's something I can watch that doesn't require any brain cells and it's just easy TV. I'm sure you all have a similar programme you watch, either when you're doing the ironing or you're hungover or on a Sunday evening. I'm right aren't I?
Because I had a real life pain in the neck I couldn't get comfortable and despite numerous syringes of oramorph I couldn't get on top of the pain. I did get in a good position but then I moved and couldn't find it again for ages. Grrrr. I think I finally dozed off about 4am only to be woken up at 7.30am with "what do you want for breakfast babe?" I could have murdered the woman.
Here I am now, hooked up to all my stuff and still trying to find that elusive comfy spot! I've had a 10 minute Skype conversation with Hubby and the kids and they told me all about yesterday's trip to the outside pool in 34 degree heat, having a BBQ with our friends family and having a tractor ride on our friends dads tractor. They've been having a ride on the tractor since they were tiny and now it won't be long until they can drive the thing! Scary where the time goes. Anyway, they're having a great time and are off to see the castle that inspired the Disney castle and to swim in a lake. It sounds fab but I'm happy lying in bed, watching loose women. Honest.
NB x
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