Skip to main content

Home for 36 hours…


I’m writing this post from A&E and I’m so sad and frustrated and pissed off. I only got discharged from St Marks on Friday and already I’m back in hospital. It feels like the universe is against me at the moment. As it is we’ve been trying for bloody months to book a holiday but either had trouble getting travel insurance or I’m never out of hospital long enough for us to feel confident we will get away. We were going to do a last minute booking and go next weekend but it looks like that plan has now been well and truly scuppered with this admission. 

So why am I in A&E? Because my bloody Hickman line has broken. When I disconnected my feed I tried to change the bionector (as it has to be changed every week) but the bloody thing was stuck. This has happened before, lots of times, so exactly as I’ve done a million times before I gave it a bit of a tug. Normally this would loosen it and then I can change it as normal but this time the green part of the line came away with it 😱 and it’s DEFINITELY NOT SUPPOSED TO!


Shit. Shit! SHIT! 

I gave it a wipe with the alcohol wipes and popped it back in place but when I went to flush the line with saline it leaked. This is not good. I use a 70% alcohol line lock every day to stop bugs growing in the line so I bunged some of that down my line and started praying that I’m not going to get a line infection. 

Now technically I should have rung the ward at that point but I had been home less than 18 hours and I couldn’t face having to go back into hospital. So I did what any self respecting adult would do in this situation and I buried my head in the sand and pretended it hadn’t happened!

Big Girl had a netball tournament all day Saturday so I went and watched that (they won!) and then I went out to a local comedy night with Hubby and my parents and it felt good to just be out of hospital, wearing clothes instead of pjs and doing normal stuff. 


But I couldn’t chance using the line last night which meant I had to skip my feed and that has left me feeling rubbish and dehydrated. I knew I couldn’t ignore the situation any longer so this morning so rang F22 and spoke to the nurse in charge. She said they might have a bed on the ward later in the day so she would ring me back. But when she called back this afternoon there was no bed which meant my only option was to go into A&E. 

Now A&E is usually like a bloody war zone and I find the whole experience of being there quite traumatic. That’s why whenever possible I will get myself admitted directly to the ward. But today it’s strangely quiet. The nurses tell me it’s because of the junior doctors strike- maybe people have heeded warnings and stayed away unless absolutely necessary. 

Unusually there is a nurse in A&E that’s trained to access Hickman lines (she used to work on Intensive Care which is why she’s trained) so they’ve been able to take blood from my line which they will use for blood cultures to check for infection. I wouldn’t be surprised if I have got an infection brewing as all around my line is sore and as time goes on the pain is getting worse and tracking up towards my shoulder. 

If it’s infected then most likely I will lose the line but if not then I’m really hoping the line can be repaired. This line is 1 week away from being a year old and I honestly don’t remember the last time I had a line for that long as I’ve been so unlucky the last few years with infections and them breaking. Unfortunately the nutrition nurses on F22 aren’t trained to do repairs like they are at St Marks and some other hospitals. This means it has to be done in Interventional Radiology and I will have to join their waiting list. The last time this happened I think I was in for 2 weeks waiting for a slot! And the problem is that without a working line I can’t have my feeds at home so I either need to have fluids through a cannula or have feed through a Picc line each night while I wait for the line to be fixed. 

So for now I’m waiting. Waiting to find out if I’ve got an infection and whether the line can be saved. Waiting for a bed to become free on F22. Waiting to find out how long I will be here. Waiting to know if it’s worth even looking at holidays or if I’m just torturing myself. Waiting, it would seem to live my life. 


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The spoon theory

Have you heard of 'The Spoon Theory'? No? Neither had I before I got ill. Why would I have? I didn't spend my time trawling through the internet in search of lotions and potions and pills that might just make me feel a little bit better,  because I was well. I was out living life and having fun.  Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that I don't have fun any more. I just have less of it, with fewer people and without the aid of alcohol!  The spoon theory was written by Christine Miserandino and she asks that when you reference the theory you add a link to her website, so here it is:  http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/ I  saw this tonight on Facebook and thought was a brilliant visual to help you understand the 'theory' (and my life) a bit better.  That really is what it's like having a chronic illness. But the trouble is you never know how many spoons you have when you wake up. My  body likes to play trick...

Home today?

The antibiotics have finished now and last night my Hickman line was used for the first time. So far it seems to be working fine and if the doctors are happy with it when they do the rounds later this morning I will be able to go home. Today! Yay! Of course I'm excited to perhaps be going home but I'm also relieved as my poor veins have just about had it. I never really have any decent veins in my hands and arms and the few that can be used have been well and truely pricked to death. It's got so bad that I'm now having cannulas put in my feet. And yes, it did hurt.  Hopefully later I will be packing my bag and going home to Hubby and the kids.Unfortunately everyone is at work today so if, no, when I get discharged later I will have to make my own way home. Nottingham has a really good transport system, including a tram stop at the hospital but I don't think I'm up to using public transport today. I'm going to splash out on a cab that will take me door to doo...

Swimming fail

I was discharged from hospital on Friday afternoon and within a few hours of being home I was out taking Big Girl to her netball training session. I didn’t feel great but Hubby had a load of work to do so I thought if I did the netball run it would take the pressure off him. Usually after dropping Big Girl off I go to my sisters house as she only lives 5 minutes from where netball training takes place but this week both her and her husband were out so I resorted to wandering the local retail park. I was hopeful that I would be able to get some Christmas presents as I haven’t bought a single thing yet but I just couldn’t get into the mood for shopping. I think being tired and in pain didn’t really help so in the end I went back to the car and sat and watched Netflix.  Driving home that evening the pain got worse and by the time we arrived home I was in agony. I crawled up the stairs and into bed hugging the sick bowl. Part of me was wondering if I would end up having to go back into...