How the hell has 12 months passed since my last blog post? Firstly, and most importantly, my iPhone has stopped supporting the app for Blogger so it has meant that I've not been able to quickly type for 5 minutes here and there. I have kept meaning to get the laptop out and write a post but it's usually at the bottom of my to do list so it hasn't happened. I haven't had any major spells in hospital so I can't blame that but I guess the second reason is Life. It just keeps getting in the way and any spare ounce of energy has been going on trying to keep the house ticking over, the chores done and the kids fed and clothed. In the week I tend to have a couple of hours in the morning when I'm able to get stuff done but then I begin to slow down until exhaustion hits and I need to sleep for a couple of hours. Then the kids come home from school and general chaos ensues. Now they are bigger they don't even go to be that early anymore and so it could be 10pm before I get any peace and quiet again, usually by which point I'm a walking zombie and have to be put to bed by Hubby. Hubby's job involves a 4 hour round trip daily commute so he leaves at stupid o'clock in the morning and generally gets home between 8 and 9pm. He will stumble through the front door and just about make it to the sofa before he collapses so the days in the week pass by in a blur and the to do lists just get longer instead of shorter. The weekends are taken up by Big Fella's football matches, the kids homework and other stuff that you think will only take an hour but takes up all day. At the moment the kids are incapable of getting into the car in under 10 minutes so just leaving the house can be a huge ballacher.
Add into the mix the problems my illnesses and disabilities give me and the fact that Hubby is permanently knackered...life is just fun, fun, fun!!
But despite all that here I am! Alive and typing. I'm trying to think of what significant events have occurred during the lat year but one of the issues I have is problems with my memory. As a general rule if something happened more than 10 minutes ago or I've been to sleep since it happened there is pretty much no recollection of the event. So to be honest I'm struggling. Working my way back through the months in my head September obviously heralded a new school year for Big Girl and Big Fella. As a general rule, Big Girl tolerates school and only ever displays any enthusiasm for things involving sports. I think the problem with school is that it interrupts her social life and ability to lie in bed watching YouTube videos! Big Fella tends to be slightly more interested in learning than his sister but once he's home trying to engage him in a conversation is impossible unless I stand in front of the TV or take away his Xbox controllers! They're not bad kids though. They have the usual typical sibling fights and cannot sit within kicking, punching or pinching distance of each other but when I'm not well they fetch my walking sticks or my medication or get my feed out of the fridge and seem to transform into quite nice human beings. I'm hoping that these occasions are a tiny glimpse into the future when they stop being grumpy, hormonal creatures and become fully functioning members of society. In the past I've often felt guilty of them having to perform this caring role and having to undertake what I would consider jobs that most other kids don't have to do but I'm starting to realise that it's teaching them to be responsible, compassionate and empathetic.
Going further back to the 6 weeks holidays I can actually remember quite clearly what we did- probably because for the first time in 8 years I wasn't in hospital for any of it! Hubby and I had booked 2 weeks away and in the back of my mind I was hoping to make just one of them. But lady luck was finally shining down on me. The first week was spent in Wales with Hubby, the kids and 2 other families. Myself, Bestie and another good friend from my coffee group booked a manor house for the 14 of us. It was set in huge grounds that the kids loved exploring and playing hide and seek in which kept them busy, meaning the grown ups actually got a bit of time to sit and relax. I had never been to Wales (unless you count a few days in Llandudno when I was 10) and I was amazed by how stunning it was. Everywhere I looked was beautiful scenery and even though the weather wasn't great I didn't really mind because I was with great friends in a lovely part of the world. The menfolk and the kids even climbed Snowdon and came back talking of their plans to scale Ben Nevis and some other peaks in the future! The second week the 4 of us travelled to Devon (which was a long, horrible 8 hour drive) to have a week by the sea with Hubby's family. We had a lodge on a park and we were opposite the swimming pool meaning the kids and their cousins could get up in the morning and go swimming on their own. For any health and safety nuts reading this there was a lifeguard in attendance and they could all competently swim. We had some time on the beach but there weren't any proper waves so Big Girl didn't get to go body boarding which is one of her favourite things to do on holiday. Again the weather wasn't great so instead of sitting on the beach everyday we explored the local area. Out of the 14 days I probably had 6 of them in bed. I generally managed to have a good day, then a day in bed recovering which for me is quite good going. The good days were great days so I can't complain. To be honest it was just so fab to be on holiday with my husband and kids because the last few years that has been something that hasn't always gone to plan.
After getting back from being away we had a friend and her 2 kids from Hertfordshire stay with us for a week. She's the kind of friend that you don't stand on ceremony for and I often woke up from a nap to find that she had done some cooking or ironing or something else that needed doing but I hadn't gotten round to doing it. And once they had gone home there was just enough time to change the sheets on the guest bed before 2 friends flew in from Germany for a week. Again they are very good friends and don't require entertaining. They understand that I'm not well and will have good and bad days but we just enjoyed spending time together. To be honest I was really sad when the kids went back to school as it had been the best summer for years and years.
I can't believe how slow my typing has become- when I was working my fingers used to fly across the keyboard but now I'm so slow and there are loads of red squiggles telling me I've made a spelling mistake. This is why I liked doing it on my phone- predictive text makes typing so much quicker and easier and I got used to a touchscreen, not a keyboard. So because of the time it's taken me to go as far back as July I think you will just have to assume that the other 9 months were a mixture of really shitty days and days where I was pleased to make it to bedtime sprinkled with the odd good day. But I've survived. I still have boxes that I haven't unpacked from the house move 20 months ago. I still have a list of things that need doing around the house that's as long as my arm and I still feel guilty when I spend the day in bed watching box sets or feed the kids takeaway because making a phone call is just about all I can cope with but I'm trying not to worry about things too much.
I'm going to try and write more often. I had forgotten how therapeutic getting stuff out of my head and into a post is. So hopefully it won't be 2018 until you hear from me again!
NB x
Add into the mix the problems my illnesses and disabilities give me and the fact that Hubby is permanently knackered...life is just fun, fun, fun!!
But despite all that here I am! Alive and typing. I'm trying to think of what significant events have occurred during the lat year but one of the issues I have is problems with my memory. As a general rule if something happened more than 10 minutes ago or I've been to sleep since it happened there is pretty much no recollection of the event. So to be honest I'm struggling. Working my way back through the months in my head September obviously heralded a new school year for Big Girl and Big Fella. As a general rule, Big Girl tolerates school and only ever displays any enthusiasm for things involving sports. I think the problem with school is that it interrupts her social life and ability to lie in bed watching YouTube videos! Big Fella tends to be slightly more interested in learning than his sister but once he's home trying to engage him in a conversation is impossible unless I stand in front of the TV or take away his Xbox controllers! They're not bad kids though. They have the usual typical sibling fights and cannot sit within kicking, punching or pinching distance of each other but when I'm not well they fetch my walking sticks or my medication or get my feed out of the fridge and seem to transform into quite nice human beings. I'm hoping that these occasions are a tiny glimpse into the future when they stop being grumpy, hormonal creatures and become fully functioning members of society. In the past I've often felt guilty of them having to perform this caring role and having to undertake what I would consider jobs that most other kids don't have to do but I'm starting to realise that it's teaching them to be responsible, compassionate and empathetic.
Going further back to the 6 weeks holidays I can actually remember quite clearly what we did- probably because for the first time in 8 years I wasn't in hospital for any of it! Hubby and I had booked 2 weeks away and in the back of my mind I was hoping to make just one of them. But lady luck was finally shining down on me. The first week was spent in Wales with Hubby, the kids and 2 other families. Myself, Bestie and another good friend from my coffee group booked a manor house for the 14 of us. It was set in huge grounds that the kids loved exploring and playing hide and seek in which kept them busy, meaning the grown ups actually got a bit of time to sit and relax. I had never been to Wales (unless you count a few days in Llandudno when I was 10) and I was amazed by how stunning it was. Everywhere I looked was beautiful scenery and even though the weather wasn't great I didn't really mind because I was with great friends in a lovely part of the world. The menfolk and the kids even climbed Snowdon and came back talking of their plans to scale Ben Nevis and some other peaks in the future! The second week the 4 of us travelled to Devon (which was a long, horrible 8 hour drive) to have a week by the sea with Hubby's family. We had a lodge on a park and we were opposite the swimming pool meaning the kids and their cousins could get up in the morning and go swimming on their own. For any health and safety nuts reading this there was a lifeguard in attendance and they could all competently swim. We had some time on the beach but there weren't any proper waves so Big Girl didn't get to go body boarding which is one of her favourite things to do on holiday. Again the weather wasn't great so instead of sitting on the beach everyday we explored the local area. Out of the 14 days I probably had 6 of them in bed. I generally managed to have a good day, then a day in bed recovering which for me is quite good going. The good days were great days so I can't complain. To be honest it was just so fab to be on holiday with my husband and kids because the last few years that has been something that hasn't always gone to plan.
After getting back from being away we had a friend and her 2 kids from Hertfordshire stay with us for a week. She's the kind of friend that you don't stand on ceremony for and I often woke up from a nap to find that she had done some cooking or ironing or something else that needed doing but I hadn't gotten round to doing it. And once they had gone home there was just enough time to change the sheets on the guest bed before 2 friends flew in from Germany for a week. Again they are very good friends and don't require entertaining. They understand that I'm not well and will have good and bad days but we just enjoyed spending time together. To be honest I was really sad when the kids went back to school as it had been the best summer for years and years.
I can't believe how slow my typing has become- when I was working my fingers used to fly across the keyboard but now I'm so slow and there are loads of red squiggles telling me I've made a spelling mistake. This is why I liked doing it on my phone- predictive text makes typing so much quicker and easier and I got used to a touchscreen, not a keyboard. So because of the time it's taken me to go as far back as July I think you will just have to assume that the other 9 months were a mixture of really shitty days and days where I was pleased to make it to bedtime sprinkled with the odd good day. But I've survived. I still have boxes that I haven't unpacked from the house move 20 months ago. I still have a list of things that need doing around the house that's as long as my arm and I still feel guilty when I spend the day in bed watching box sets or feed the kids takeaway because making a phone call is just about all I can cope with but I'm trying not to worry about things too much.
I'm going to try and write more often. I had forgotten how therapeutic getting stuff out of my head and into a post is. So hopefully it won't be 2018 until you hear from me again!
NB x
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