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Gone without me 😢

So right now Hubby and the kids are flying over Europe on their way to Germany. 



There will be an empty seat on the plane where I'm supposed to be sitting but instead I'm in my hospital bed typing this. I thought I was ok with it until I got texts from the kids... As I read them I struggled to hold back the tears. 


The top one is from Hubby replying to me. Then the second is from Big Fella (I've used the pink tash to block out his name as I like to keep the kids anonymous) The third one is from Big Girl. 


It's hard knowing that they're going to have a great week away. Of course I want them to have fun- it's just I would rather be there with them. The weather this week in Germany is hot, hot, hot (even hotter than here in the UK) and I had been worrying about dehydrating- well I don't have that to worry about now!


People have said to me "you'll be able to go in a few days if you're discharged" and in theory they're right. If I don't have a line infection and feel well enough then yes, I could fly. The problem will be whether I can get my TPN arranged. Like I've said before it's not just about throwing a few meds and some clothes in a suitcase. I have to transport a 2kg bag of fluid for every night I'm away plus the pump and equipment needed to connect and disconnect the feed to my Hickman line and just to make it extra challenging the feed has to be kept cold. This means it has to be specially packaged to go on the plane and this was all in place for today. Because I don't know when I will get discharged I can't tell the team that provide my feed when I would need it to be packaged up specially again and they need at least 24 hours notice just to get the ice blocks frozen! And it's a bank holiday so they will no doubt be shutting down on Friday until Tuesday morning effectively meaning that unless I know tomorrow when I'm going home and when I'm going to be flying I doubt very much it will be possible to get it all sorted. 

Never mind. I will look forward to chatting to the kids over FaceTime and them telling me about all the exciting things they've done. Next time I want a holiday I'm going to get Hubby to sort it all out without telling me so my body doesn't have the chance to rebel and spoil it all! 

NB x


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