Back in again

Guess where I am? 

Yep, back in the bloody hospital. I went home on Friday afternoon looking forward to a weekend of quality family time. What I got instead was vomiting, severe fatigue and a body that ached and hurt to even be touched. Hubby also had a mystery pain in his side that appeared on Friday night and got progressively worse as the weekend went on. I thought it might be appendicitis but luckily it wasn't. The whole weekend just passed us by. I have no idea what the weather was like as I was tucked up in bed with my hot water bottle, Hubby was lying on another bed nursing his side and the kids were babysat by Sky and Apple. 

Is it just me or do other people give in and let their kids zone out on iPads or watching tv just to get some peace and quiet? If they're on their 'devices' there's no arguments, fighting and he-said-she-said debates. But with the quiet comes the guilt- should I let them spend their weekends hooked to technology or should they be out playing or doing arts & crafts or something? Please tell me I'm not alone in this. I know that I like to relax and chill out by watching a bit of crap tv. You can't beat a bit of Come Dine With Me or Dance Moms but is it the same for kids or should they always be doing something? And if they're not doing something then what should they do? What do other peoples kids do???? I'm also finding that the kids need so much involvement and direction from me when removed from their devices. But if I'm not feeling good or am totally exhausted I just don't have the energy to cope with them. 

This summer I was really optimistic and it all started off well with our holiday to Cornwall and days out with family but recently it seems to have gone down hill. Hubby is tired from his long commute and I'm exhausted from looking after the kids (despite the huge amount of help I'm getting from family!) Plus I am trying to sort out the sale of our house (have paperwork to complete that should have been done weeks ago), finding a removal firm (one quote got, must get more), finding a house to buy (no luck with that), finding a house to rent (am amazed with the rent that gets charged-also no luck with that) finding somewhere to store our life's possessions (not even started looking) and getting the kids ready to go back to school (no uniform or school shoes bought). I have so much to do I'm tired before I even start. And this infection has knocked me sideways. 

So all weekend I was in bed pretty much and this morning I had to come back to hospital to have blood tests done. Normal blood tests and Hickman line blood cultures to make sure that the infection was gone. But to be honest, I'm not convinced it has. Since they stopped the antibiotics and started using the Hickman line I've started to feel achy and sore as though I've got flu. I've got a banging headache and I've been sick a couple of times. I really had hoped that I had got rid of the infection but maybe I haven't. 

This morning my head was pounding and my legs felt like jelly. Walking from the car park to the ward felt like such a mission because I felt as though I was going to pass out for most of it. The original plan had been to do the blood tests and hopefully discharge me today but when the ward sister saw me and told me I looked exhausted I knew that there was a possibility I would be kept in. 

And so the guilt kicks in again. The kids are going to spend the last few days of their summer holiday with me stuck in hospital. And my poor parents are probably fed up with having no time together. Between babysitting for me and grandma-sitting they don't have a minute to themselves. I'm not sure this is how they envisaged their summer would be either. 

I'm hoping that after a couple of days I will be out of here so that I can spend the Bank Holiday weekend with Hubby and the kids. The plan is to hopefully go back down South and spend some time at home catching up with friends that we've not seen since we left. 

NB x