The kids have been getting £3 a week pocket money for a while now but there was nothing laid out that said what they had to do to get the money. Infact some weeks they might do nothing at all and still get it and other weeks (usually when I'm having a bad week) they would end up doing lots of chores still for £3. I had spoken with a friend a few weeks ago about boundaries and child discipline and chores ect and was shocked and amazed to find out that her daughter (who is the same age as Big Fella) did hoovering, cleaned the bathroom and washed dishes. I never thought that my kids would be capable of doing those jobs even though they did other things around the house.
I wanted to think of a way to incentivise them and reward them for tasks carried out around the house. This way it would mean that when I'm not good and can't get out of bed they could do some of the jobs for me but because they're being 'paid' some of the guilt is alleviated. I also want to train them to become useful adults and be able to cook and run a house in a decent way when they're older so this is the start of their training I guess. The friend I mentioned earlier leant me a book that I've found really inspiring and made me realise that plenty of people struggle with parenting without a life long chronic illness thrown in the mix. The book looks at how to parent children within traditional Christian values so is not going to be everybody's cup of tea but it's not overly preachy so even atheists may find it an interesting read.
I decided that I would pay the kids in buttons, mainly because I hardly ever have cash in the house, but also because they can see their piles growing as the week goes on and it's kinda fun and colourful and perfect for the ages that they are. They can cash in the button hoard whenever they choose rather than having to wait until Saturdays to get their pocket money under the old system.
Each chore around the house has a number of buttons attached to it which was agreed upon over dinner one night. I was suprised that they often had the same idea as Hubby and I as to what a job was worth and there was only one or two times that they thought they had outrageous demands like 10 or 20 buttons for a chore. I think they liked having their input on the scheme rather than just being told what was going to happen. They can only do the job if it needs to be done (no putting on a wash load with 2 items of clothing!) and they check with me first. I then inspect the job they've done and hand out the buttons.
This week I've been in incredible amounts of pain and spent a lot of time in bed. Usually I would feel guilty that the kids were doing chores because I was too unwell to do them but they were so enthusiastic about doing them that it alleviated some of that. I'm not sure how long the excitement will continue but hopefully they will find the link between chores-buttons-pocket money to be a positive one and will want to keep earning money to save for their holidays or for the stuff they want to buy.
So far this week Big Fella has hoovered 3 rooms and although he's barely bigger than the Dyson he's been very thorough in his work. Big Girl was not as quick to engage but as soon as she saw her brothers pot filling up she soon jumped on the button band wagon! She cooked spaghetti bolognaise last night and Hubby said it was better than mine! I've just spent the last 20 minutes teaching them how to polish their school shoes. I think the next few weeks they're going to need a lot of guidance and instruction but hopefully after they've mastered these chores they will be able to do them with little or no adult input. That's the plan anyway.
So far they're on about £2.50 ish so they may end up with more pocket money than before but at least it will be hard earnt rather than a hand out. I know some people may not agree with kids doing chores around the house and I used to be like that. "They're only kids for such a short while" and "let them play, plenty of time to be a grown up in the future" were things I used to say. But then do I expect them to suddenly learn all of these things when they turn 18? What if they go to uni totally unable to look after themselves because I've mothered them too much while they were kids? Being a parent is such a tough job and especially difficult when you're not well and just want to stay in bed and pull the duvet over your head half the time. But then they give me a reason to get up and try to be the best I can be that day rather than wallow in self pity. And for that I am grateful.
The doctors have told me on numerous occasions that I was very lucky to have the kids when I did. My insides are so messed up now that even if by some miracle I did fall pregnant there's no way my body could cope with a pregnancy. Infact I had a miscarriage I couple of years ago which at the time completely devasted me and Hubby but looking back now I think there's no way that we could cope with a toddler running about. Could you imagine how much harder it would have been for Hubby trying to look after a baby when I was in hospital for months on end in 2013/14. So I guess it's true that everything happens for a reason. I can't deny that I'm not broody but I'm content with the 2 I have been blessed with and also my godchildren that Bestie has given me.
Wow! Talk about going off at a tangent! How did I get from buttons to miscarriages? That's how my crazy mind works. Welcome to my world! I'm off to bed now to count my blessings while the kids counttheir buttons!
NB x
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