The kids went back to school last week. Facebook was filled with photos of kids in new uniform ready to start the new school year. Every mum would of been proud of their kids that morning but none more than me. And here's why. Last year I spent the whole summer in hospital and missed loads of events and milestones. Last year I had to get a few hours of day release from the ward to make it to their first day back and hubby had to push me in a wheelchair because I was still very unwell.
Looking gorgeous in my pjs (some said we looked like Lou and Andy from Little Britain- I want that one!)
But this year I've spent the whole summer holiday at home having quality time with the kids. And I've loved it and in a way I was sad for the holidays to be over. But I was also very tired and ready for a rest. This is the longest period of time that I've been at home and not had an inpatient stay in hospital since May 2013!!
And although I needed to use I've a walking stick to help me out this year that's progress from a wheelchair. And you know what? I was there and that's all that matters.
Because of my medication there are times when I don't feel as though I should drive. As a result I've had to rely on friends to take the kids and pick them up if I can't. This frustrates the hell out of me because I wanted this year to be the year where I would be able to do all the mum things that I missed out on last year. I know I will get there, it's just taking longer than I had hoped. And thank you to those that are still willing to help me despite me not being well enough to return the favour.
The start of the new school year has heralded a new routine in our house. For the last year the kids have been pulled from pillar to post and as a result their behaviour has become 'challenging' shall we say. Hardly surprising given that they've spent time at so many different homes, all with different rules and boundaries and quite often they've been spoilt and indulged because people have felt sorry for them.
So hubby and I decided that we would address bed times; getting them back into a bedtime routine of bath, teeth, stories and then lights out. So far it seems to be working quite well and each child is enjoying the 1:1 time they're getting from us both.
Addressing their behaviour is proving a lot more difficult and there has been a real kickback from them as we have tried to implement new boundaries, and what we find acceptable behaviour/speech etc and not. There's been quite a few tears, foot stomping, tantrums and time outs but also lots of praise for when they are good. It's hard work but we have to do this otherwise we will end up with delinquent teenagers.
Getting up a 7am every day has been hard for me. If I've not felt good I've wished I could just stay in bed but I know that hubby and I must approach this as a team. We are sitting down to breakfast altogether which is a nice way to start off the day. We are also trying to eat together in the evening and talk about their day at school and what's coming up in the week or at the weekend. During the day I've tended to sleep or rest to make sure I've got the energy to deal with them when they come home but even doing that I'm still tired by the time they go to bed and I find that I'm in bed not long after then.
It hasn't all been plain sailing and me getting tonsillitis this week has put a bit of a spanner in the works. On Tuesday I was so poorly that I just couldn't get out of bed, I had a temperature and my whole body hurt. Hubby got straight onto the doctors, probably thinking I had a line infection, and insisted that they send a doctor out to me. They did (wow!) and tonsillitis was diagnosed and a course of abtibiotics given.
Yesterday I was so ill I had to call hubby at work and get him to come home. I was throwing up and had such terrible diarrhea that I couldn't get off the toilet. I needed to hook up and was so dehydrated that I actually passed out. Like a knight in shining armour he dropped everything and came home, get my medications, making me hot water bottles and putting me to bed. I don't know how I would cope without him. I slept nearly all if yesterday and all last night and still feel tired.
This morning there was frantic looking for Big Fellas swim trunks and swimming cap as my friend who was taking them to school reminded me that he has swimming lessons at school today. Could I find the trunks and hat? Of course not. I looked in all the places that I thought they would be but in the end my friend said she would pop back to hers and get some of her sons for him to borrow. I think all of this made the kids (hers and mine) late for school...sorry.
When I text hubby to tell him about the palava he called me back and the conversation went like this:
Me: I couldn't find Big Fellas trunks anywhere.
Him: the swimming trunks are in his pant drawer
Me: but trunks don't go in there. Since when did trunks go in there?
Him: since you were in hospital for a year and I had to find my own way of doing stuff. So that where I put the trunks. That's where they go.
Me: oh.
That's an example of how things have changed in our house. I used to run the house with military, slightly OCD obsessive ways. Now I don't really mind whether the dishes are washed or if the floor hadn't been steam mopped this week (or even this month!)
Hubby used to be very relaxed but since having to do everything around the house in my absence he's created his own routines and systems and sometimes I feel in the way. Or like this morning, I just don't know where stuff is put anymore.
So although it's great to be home, it's also taking a bit of time for us all to adjust to me being a permenent feature rather than just an occasional guest.
NB x
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