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It's all caught up with me

Last week was brilliant. But boy am I paying for it now. I am exhausted. Bone achingly tired. I spent most of Sunday in bed, but luckily my parents were still here so they kept the kids entertained and Mum whipped up Sunday lunch for us all and Dad did the washing up. 

By the time I woke up yesterday Hubby had left for work and Big Girl was already awake. Big Fella had come into our bed in the night after having a nightmare and so hubby had ended up sleeping in his mid sleeper as he's such a wriggler. I was surprised to find Big Fella was still lying next to me but he was watching a video on his iPad which helps him to stay still for more than a minute!  His blonde hair was all messy which has earnt him the nickname of Boris Johnson amongst family and friends. 


After nagging the kids about the state of their rooms I thought I had better practice what I preach so I spent the morning tidying my room which translates as picking up a few things off the floor, then lying down on the bed whilst watching Jeremy Kyle, hang a few clothes up, lie down and watch some of This Morning, vacuum and then watch a bit more of This Morning!

Lois (aka Bestie) came round with her kids and armed with French sticks and donuts so I helped her to prepare lunch for us all. After lunch I went to the loo and the bowel motion I had left me feeling so sick that I had to lie down. 2 hours later I woke up! I think she knew I was feeling ill as I couldn't even manage cuddles with the baby. My arms ached so much I didn't think I could pick him up. 

Then I had an appointment with the GP but as I was just getting ready to leave the house I realised I couldn't find my house keys. So a mad five minutes of searching ensued which basically meant that I ran round the house asking the kids if they'd seen my keys, getting more and more worked up until I rang hubby at work, hysterical and crying that I couldn't find my keys and blaming him. 

I still couldn't find them so just pulled the door to with hubby promising he would be home from work on time and be there for when we got back to let me in the house. He kept his promise and I left him to make the kids some dinner and I went to lie down. 

I think this must be my body's way of telling me that I overdid it last week. And I'm going to listen to it by resting when I need to, rather than try to keep going and collapse! This picture sums up how I'm currently feeling!!


My sleep pattern is all over the place. I can't last the whole day without needing a nap but then I'm usually so exhausted that a nap lasts for a good few hours. Then it means that I'm not tired at bedtime and don't get to sleep until late. Last night was really bad though. I was in so much pain with my tummy that I didn't get to sleep until around 4am. I think it's not just the tiredness that's caught up on me. 

The last few weeks I've eaten what I've wanted regardless of how it's made me feel. I've ignored tummy aches and ploughed on munching my way through cream teas whilst on holiday, chips, BBQ, salads, pizza...I even had a Chinese takeaway the other night! But now the pain is so intense that the thought of eating today is making me feel sick. 

Since getting out of hospital I've been like a kid in a sweet shop. Instead of having a very strict, limited menu of foods from which to choose from the fridge and the cupboards are full and have been shouting my name. I've been able to order whatever I've wanted on my Tesco shop and have it delivered so I haven't even had to leave the house. Choosing food and snacks and drinks might seem something so everyday but when you're restricted to a handful of meals on the NHS menu and whatever WH Smiths sells it's amazing to have so much choice. 

But obviously this has not had a good effect on my body and I'm currently laid in bed, in agony, with a hot water bottle on my tummy, another on my bottom and I'm counting down the minutes until I can have some more painkillers. I don't deserve any sympathy- this time the pain is my own fault, but luckily my friends still stick by me and have taken the kids out blackberry picking in the country park so that I can rest and take my really strong painkillers. 

I need to get myself back on track because the kids go back to school soon and I want to enjoy the last bit of time I have with them. I also want to have enough energy to start tackling things in the house. I need to sort out my wardrobe as I have clothes ranging from a size 8 to a 20 thanks to my illness and the steroids. I also need to sort out the playroom as it resembles a toys r us shop after a bomb had gone off. My kids are hoarders and still have toys from years ago that they won't get rid of. I'm hoping to sneak them out gradually and sell them to raise some money to pay for plane tickets to Germany to see Liddy later in the year. I've also promised the kids that we will turn their garden house from a kids playhouse with a toy kitchen and make believe toys into a cool place for them to hang out with their friends and play on their iPads. So it would be good to do that before winter sets in. 

So these are the things that I want to get done. I know they're not urgent but if I'm well enough to do them it means another step forward on the road to recovery. But for now I'm going to take some more painkillers, lie in bed and feel a bit sorry for myself. And I promise to get back on my low residue, pouch friendly diet because nothing tastes as good as pain free feels!

NB x




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